Better Than Revenge
by IzzytheGreat14
Summary: "She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind, there is nothing I do better than revenge.."


**You better read this, because if you don't, you'll be completely lost. Just saying.**

**I think this should be separate because it's not really Phinbella. I mean, it is, but it's a bit, er, unromantic. **

**And I'm not starting my next real story until I get five votes. Total. Visit my profile to vote.**

**Well, I hope you enjoy. Read and review it, because I'll know if you didn't. **

**It's Isabella's POV.**

**You know you love me, IzzytheGreat14**

It was a beautiful summer day, the first of summer vacation, when Phineas asked me to be his girlfriend. I said, yes, of course.

It was a horrible Indian summer day when Darla came, with her bleached blond hair and slutty clothes. She slept with half the football team before showed an interest in the red-haired inventor who was clearly TAKEN!

It was a nice autumn day when Phineas broke up with me.

We were sitting in my backyard, lounging by the pool.

Phineas raised himself up on one elbow.

"Hey, Isabella?"

My blood ran cold. He _never_ called me Isabella. It was always Izzy, or Isa, or Iz, or even Sweetie.

But never Isabella.

"Yeah?" I forced out.

"I've been thinking, and, well, I've decided that…we're better as friends," he told me.

I froze. So this was it. This was the moment he broke up with me for that whore Darla.

_"We're better as friends."_

"You understand, right?" he asked, fake concern written all over his face.

"Oh yeah, I understand," I told him. "I understand perfectly."

Already, a snatch of song flowed through my head.

_"..There is nothing I do better than revenge…"_

Oh, yeah. I beamed at Phineas.

"So, we're broken up?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, confused.

"So get out of my backyard," I told him.

\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/\-/-\/-\-/\-/\-/-\/-\-/\-/-\/-

I threw a concert. And not a private one, but a city-wide one.

Everyone came.

I guess they must like me. I don't know.

"Hey, guys, thanks for coming out tonight. I'd like to dedicate my first song to Darla and Phineas. So if they could come up…"

They did. All of a sudden, yet right on cue, the Fireside Girls sprang out. Three grabbed Phineas, and the other three grabbed Darla.

I turned to the tramp. "Now go stand in the corner and THINK about what you did," I spat, and the Fireside Girls led her to one.

Music kicked in, and then I did.

"Ha, time for a little revenge.

_The story starts when it was hot and it was summer_

_And I had it all; I had him right there where I wanted him_

_She came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause_

_She took him faster than you can say sabotage!"_

The crowd went wild as I clutched my heart as if I'd been shot.

_"I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it_

_I underestimated just who I was dealing with_

_She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum_

_She underestimated just who she was stealing from_

_She's not a saint, and she's not what you think_

_She's an actress, whoa_

_She's better known for the things that she does_

_On the mattress, whoa!"_

Everyone laughed. Leave it to me to find a classy way to call someone a slut to their face.

_"Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys_

_On the playground won't make you many friends._

_She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind_

_There is nothing I do better than revenge, ha!_

_She lives her life like it's a party and she's on the list_

_She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it_

_I think her ever present frown is a little troubling_

_She thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things."_

Once again, a laugh. I'm an expert rhymer. And I know all the best synonyms. I'm a walking thesaurus. For example: Darla, slut.

_"But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know_

_Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go."_

Mock distress at the next line. The crowd ate it up.

_"Oh, they didn't teach you that in prep school, so it's up to me_

_But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity._

_She's not a saint, and she's not what you think_

_She's an actress, whoa!_

_She's better known for the things that she does_

_On the mattress, whoa!_

_Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys_

_On the playground won't make you many friends._

_She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind_

_There is nothing I do better than revenge, ha!_

_I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey._

_You might have him, but haven't you heard?_

_I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey._

_You might have him, but I always get the last word!"_

At this, I looked pointedly at Phineas. I did. Last words are my specialty. Uh, my other specialty.

By now the crowd was rumbling the chorus with me.

_"She's not a saint, and she's not what you think_

_She's an actress, whoa!_

_She's better known for the things that she does_

_On the mattress, whoa!_

_Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys_

_On the playground won't make you many friends._

_She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind_

_There is nothing I do better than revenge, ha!"_

I turned to Darla, who was crying furious tears. I smiled at her, conveying both insincerity and false sympathy.

_"And do you still feel like you know whatcha doin'?_

_'Cause I don't think you do, oh_

_Do you still feel like you know whatcha doin'?_

_I don't think you do, I don't think you do."_

I turned back to the crowd and gestured.

_"Let's hear the applause_

_C'mon show me how much better you are!"_

Facing Darla again:

_See you deserve some applause_

_'Cause you're so much better."_

Then the crowd, an expression of tragic sadness on my face.

_"She took him faster than you could say sabotage..."_

As they roared approval, the Fireside Girls let the two go.

They rushed out the doors.

Great. I may have either driven a wedge between them, or pushed them closer together through mutual humiliation.

Hopefully, the first.

But there was the crowd. I turned and began the next song.

-\-/\/-\/-\-/\-\/-\/-\-/-\/-\/-/-\/-\/-\-/

I sighed and packed up my guitar.

"Oh, well, it was worth a try," I said to no one.

But to my surprise, someone answered.

"Yeah. You convinced me," a voice said.

I whirled. "Phineas?"

He stepped out of the shadows. "Yeah. Your song made me kind of reassess, and, well, I love you more than Darla. Besides," he half-smiled, "she's better known for the things that she does on the mattress."

"Oh, Phineas. I told you I always get the last word, silly boy. And it is, er, well, they are, 'come' and 'here.'"

Best. Kiss. Ever.


End file.
